I remember it like it was yesterday. I was calling my mom to check in before theater practice started in Spring 2007 and before we hung up she said, “Hey, I have someone who can’t wait to meet you!” I was totally confused and my curiosity kept me distracted during practice. I can remember making up scenarios in my mind of who it could have been. Practice was finally over and I saw my mom’s car parked along the sidewalk. I had my learner’s permit so I was anxious to drive– that was, until I saw you.
You were this tiny furball, golden blonde with this beautiful solid black nose, and those big “I love you” eyes. I chose to ride shotgun over driving and I can remember squealing with excitement. I held you the entire drive home. You were wrapped in an old pink towel and I kissed you over and over. I remember specifically that we got you on a Thursday because every Friday in English, we had a vocabulary test and I failed miserably because I was too busy loving on you to study.
We named you Charger and you were ours to love unconditionally… and you loved us right back. You were ornery as can be, but you were perfect. I can remember on numerous occasions sitting on the floor crying, maybe over an argument I had with someone or going through a break up. You would always come up and place your forehead on mine and I just felt better. You had healing abilities, maybe not physical wounds, but broken hearts were your specialty.
A few months back, the doctor told us your body was growing weak. Your blood work wasn’t coming back well, you were sleeping more and more, and you couldn’t hear us when we walked into the house. Your bark was followed by a cough and your breathing was always heavy. We knew that you wouldn’t be here with us much longer. We cherished every extra moment we had with you. I promised you that as long as you could walk and you asked me to take you, I would. Some days, I would be so tired, but you would see me and bark and whine until I took you. That was our thing. You had your “thing” with everyone in the family, but that was ours.
Unfortunately, the time came where you couldn’t walk at all anymore, your eyes glassed over, your breathing irregular. We knew you were in pain and the medicine wasn’t working anymore. You were so happy; that’s what made it hard. You would wag your tail the best you could, still attempting to greet us, but your eyes told a different story. Your eyes told us you were tired, that you were ready to rest; but in true Charger fashion, you were too busy taking care of us as we made the decision to allow you to be free from your pain. That was one of the hardest things that I ever had to be part of, but surrounded by those who loved you most, we held you as you drifted to sleep, we held you as you crossed the Rainbow Bridge. You looked so peaceful; you looked as though you drifted off to dream land and were getting the best night’s rest that you’ve gotten in a long time and you were free from pain.
I want you to know that you were the best boy in the entire world. I want you to know that you did such a good job. I want you to know that you were absolutely amazing and my heart will forever ache without you here with us. We love you so much and I hope you know that we only did what was best, what we thought you wanted. I hope you are happy and I hope you are eating all the pizza you can get your paws on. I hope your coat is back to its normal color and that you are enjoying the breeze under a tree that you picked. I hope that you felt that you had a good life with us, because you made our life complete. Wait for us…. okay?
Good job, sweet boy. I love you so much,
Sissy
Hi Erin, I know we’ve never met and I only know you from your posts with Ashley. I just read your story about your Charger and can feel the heartache your are going through right now. That is absolutley one of the hardest things that most of us will have to face but it sounds like you made the right choice.
Im sure he is looking down on you and your family from the shade of his tree, wishing he could be with you to help heal that broken heart!
I’ve had dogs my entire life and know what you are feeling now. Just remember that he’ll be the waiting for you someday to go for another walk:)
Thank you for the kind words, Tim. He was the best of the best and our hearts ache at the emptiness of our family home, but we know that he’s no longer in pain and that does give us a bit of comfort. It’s amazing how much a dog can change your life. If only everyone knew the love of a dog, they would never have to question what true love was….
My Sandor died on December 17 1992. He died of hip displacement.
I miss him so much.