Bulimia. Anorexia. Anxiety. Self-hatred. Depression. Unrealistic expectations.
Today, one can rarely logon to social media without seeing an airbrushed hourglass figure with an impossible 10:1:10 ratio. If not that, we might scroll past a few flawless faces with not one wrinkle to be seen. Unbeknownst to those around us, these things might cause us stop and look at ourselves a little more closely in the mirror, silently comparing ourselves to a utopian mirage as we harshly judge our own flaws.
Being in the fields of education and cosmetology, we’ve seen the increase in eating disorders and the decrease in self-worth in women and young girls alike. Many women and girls spend hours upon hours at the gym, while simultaneously starving their bodies– all in hopes of “keeping up with the Kardashians.” But they can’t… Why? Because it’s not real. It’s unattainable naturally. And, well, let’s face it, most of us don’t have the millions of dollars to put in to creating an entirely new face or body.
Not to pick on the Kardashians again— but they’re kind of the poster children for total face and body manipulation. It’s insane how they look like entirely different people. Not only their faces have changed, but they’ve had multi-million dollar, invasive, body-altering surgeries to achieve that crazy (albeit unhealthy) hip to waist ratio. We’re not saying they don’t work out now, but they had the means to reach the finish line before actually starting the race. The fitness gurus and trainers of the world don’t even achieve results that quickly– and their fit bodies still don’t come close to the figures of the surgically modified. To be frank, their method is silicone and scalpels– not squats and sweat.
The problem: It’s not just the Kardashians anymore. The plastic surgery epidemic is spreading– and fast. So many women are altering their God-given bodies and striving to reach this new unnatural “ideal.” On top of that, they’re getting Botox, fillers, and lip injections and spending every penny on these alterations.
If we as mature women are feeling even just a tinge of the pressure or the lack of self-confidence, imagine what it is doing to our fragile youth. They don’t feel worthy and it makes us sad to think about where they are trying to find their worth– in addition to completely editing their bodies (see above) and saving every paycheck so they can afford their own cosmetic procedures.
We took the discussion to some of the people that experience these feelings every day– real women. After speaking to our own friends and co-workers, we found that they feel compelled to compare themselves to these altered bodies and photoshopped images in part because many men feed into the misconception, oblivious to the fact that they are fake. Women also feel like the results they achieve through hard work– working out and eating healthy– aren’t “good enough” (comparably) because they don’t look like the girls on Instagram. And the sad reality is that the celebrities and models of Instagram all felt the same way and that’s why they went to the extremes of altering their bodies to the max. We live in a world that praises and congratulates those who spent money to achieve their desired body, rather than those who put in the work and time to achieve it.
We must remember that they’re not real. We know that with the power of make-up and contour, a woman can completely enhance her face. For the most part, make-up just enhances our natural features. We know there are Instagram filters and photo presets to change the lighting and coloring of a photo. But what makes us sad is living in a world where a girl would rather spend hours on YouTube learning how to contour her face or photoshop her body than read a book or explore the world. And for what? Likes and comments on their social media accounts– today’s form of acceptance. We are creating a generation of girls who would rather have higher likes on Instagram than a higher SAT score.
We need to do our part to show them that much of what we see on Instagram just isn’t real. It’s edited, photoshopped, or in many cases, surgically modified. (And most of the time, it’s really unnatural and strange looking.) Real is so very rare. And real is also beautiful. We need to teach them to love their flaws and celebrate their own successes. It’s time to stop praising the fake and start celebrating what’s real.
In the words of our friend Tina, “I try to change my thinking. Like, okay, I have some wrinkles on my forehead, but they remind me of the countless times I’ve furrowed my brows studying for organic chemistry, focusing on studying for a test. And my wrinkles, they tell my story. My wrinkles give me facial expressions. My crows feet remind me of all the times I’ve smiled.”
So, we will choose to love ourselves despite the flaws. We will love the cellulite and the spider veins, and the wrinkles in our foreheads. We will choose to teach our own future daughters to love themselves through our own examples and kind words because the truth is you never know who is watching and learning from your actions.
It is the beginning of a brand new decade and we can’t let it start without spreading this small glimpse of positivity in a negative, defeating world. You are NOT alone. Girls, please hear us when we say that we know how you feel. We’ve been where you are. But know this: you don’t ever need to alter one thing on your body or your face or strive to be like anyone else. You are beautifully and wonderfully made in His image. Be the real this world needs. Be YOU.♡
Love,
Ash & Er
I couldn’t agree more ladies! My wife and I are raising our three girls( ages 12, 14 and 16). We tell them all these same things all the time. They are all beautiful both inside and out. Ther oldest never wears make up, but ther other two love to do themselves and each other”up” quite often.
Maybe it’s just my age(48 now🤔), but I don’t see the attraction in the women who get all these things done to themselves. I don’t really even think these big eyelashes are attractive, let alone ther fake boobs, bums and lips.
You guys are both beautiful! I really like the no-makeup pic you posted too.
I hope your message reaches a lot of young ladies, maybe even some that aren’t so young, like myself🙂..
Keep up the good work and can’t wait to dr your next posts a
Sincerely, Tim