A Letter to the Dog Who Came Next

As a family, our hearts have been empty since October when we laid our sweet Charger to rest. I can’t thank the doctors enough for giving him such a peaceful escape. Surrounded by the people he loved most, snacking on all of his favorite treats, and leaving us in the most dignified way are the only things that gives me peace about that day.

Charger has been on my mind a lot lately. You don’t just forget about a dog like that. He was the epitome of perfection and because of him, I refused to live in a home without the love of a dog.

Actually, we all did… until we had to. Watching my mom grieve her baby, seeing my brother and sister mourn the loss of their best friend, and watching my dad ache for his companion had me holding on to Stella a little tighter.

You see, for me, when I was hurting extra bad (because let’s face it, I silently ache daily), I had the love equivalent in my arms. However, my family didn’t. Stella started spending more time with my family to help ease the pain, but it was hard when she had to come home.

Then, we made the journey to you. The journey wasn’t just the trip that we took to physically pick you up; it was more than that. Each member of this family worked through grief in his or her own way. You were going to help my mom’s lonely heart, make my sister feel safe, give my dad someone to spend time with, and fill a void my brother had in his heart.

The thing is though, you will always be the dog that came after the most amazing dog in the world. That’s not necessarily a bad thing; it just may be a bit more of a task. You have big paws to fill and by the connection I felt between our hearts, I know that you are going to handle the job just fine.

The day we picked you up I watched you. I knew you as soon as I looked at you; you had familiar eyes. You comforted my mom in a way she needed and she instantly bursted into tears– remember that? She was aching. The reality of getting a new dog meant that losing Charger wasn’t just a bad dream. We wanted you; we knew that much, but the overwhelming roller coaster of emotions we felt that day is indescribable. As tears burned our eyes, we fell in love just looking at you. Although there was an instant connection, it was followed by intense grief.

We brought you home that day. As I drove, I heard sniffles as my mom looked at you. Excitement, grief, guilt, and a little bit of relief were just a few things that would flood us at random moments during that car ride. You did so well. You made us laugh so hard and when our laughter turned to tears, you comforted us.

You have been a handful, I might add, like all puppies are, but it has been fun playing and training you. It’s nice to hear puppy paws on the hardwood floor, the squeaking of obnoxious balls and toys, and the barks of puppy play in a home where the silence had been haunting us since October.

We are so ready for this adventure with you but I wanted to tell you not to get discouraged when we look at you and start to cry. You didn’t do anything wrong; we are still missing our old boy. Don’t panic when you don’t do something the way Charger did; we prefer that. You are loved so much already, but you are also a tool to help us through this grief. We have created such amazing memories with you already and know for a fact that God had His hand in this. We prayed for you and the fact that God gave us just a glimpse of Charger in you puts us as ease.

You’re a good boy, a very very good boy, but you’re not yet the best. The best is waiting for us, but we already love you just the same. Just be patient with us.